Első társkereső találkozásra jó tanács lehet

Beküldve 2010, május 23 - 12:31de által Gabor

Magabiztosabbak és vonzóbbak lehetünk, ha udvariasan viselkedünk. Adhatunk-e puszit az első randin, mit viseljünk, no, és ki ﬁzesse a számlát? Ki hívhatja a másikat randira? A fiú hívja a lányt. Tudom, hogy ez ma már régiesnek számít, de a lányok ﬁgyelmét felhívom arra, hogy a férﬁ mindig szeret „egy kört futni". A vérükben van, hogy meg kell harcolni a nőért. No persze ne nagyon harcoljon, de az érdekesség, izgalom benne kell hogy legyen: elfogadja-e a meghívásomat? Lányok, adjunk ennyi örömöt a ﬁúnak! Hova, milyen helyszínre illik az első találkát megbeszélni? Találkozni lehet egy metrókijáratnál, óra alatt, utcán is akár. Utána lehet mozi, cukrászda, kávézó, kiállítás – ilyesmi. Tehát ahol ketten lesznek, de sok ember között. Ez biztonságot is ad, és több intimitás van benne, mint mondjuk egy dizsiben. Apróság: ha eleve egy presszót jelölünk meg, akkor a ﬁú várjon a bejárat előtt – nem igazán jó, ha egy lány egyedül megy be, és kóvályog, forgatja a fejét, téblábol. Ha meg bent vár a ﬁú, akkor a szemét le ne vegye az ajtóról, és ha belép a lány, emelkedjen fel, hívja fel magára a ﬁgyelmet, esetleg lépjen elé. Milyen ruhát vegyen fel a nő és a férfi a randevúra? Az első randi a legnehezebb, mert úgy kell kinézni, mintha egy normál hétköznapi dolog lenne, de ezt nagyon sok munkával kell elérni. Friss zuhanyozás, dezodor, fogmosás, hajmosás, tiszta ruházat, tiszta cipő. A lányoknak javaslom, hogy első alkalommal ne dobjanak be mindent. A miniszoknyához ne vegyenek fel teljesen kivágott minipólót, sokkal szexibb, ha egy laza pulcsit vesznek fel a minihez. Nehéz elhinni, de nem láttatni kell, hanem sejtetni – nyerő! Bemutatkozásnál ki nyújtja a kezét először? A fiú mutatkozik be és a lány nyújtja a kezét. De ha társasághoz lépünk oda, akkor ne kezdjünk el körbe-körbe mindenkivel kezet fogni, bemutatkozni, mert úgyis elfelejtjük a sok nevet. Ilyenkor álljunk meg, nézzünk körbe, igyekezzünk mindenkivel szemkontaktust teremteni, és intsünk a kezünkkel, sziasztok. Illik-e üdvözlésképpen puszit adni? Egyre inkább szokás, hogy vadidegenek is az első találkozáskor körbepuszilják egymást, sokszor még a ﬁúk is. Pedig az arcunk a legintimebb területünk, és ennek érintése az intim, a szeretetteljes kapcsolat jele. És ha ennyire „olcsón" adjuk, akkor hogyan fejezhetnénk ki a szerelmet ezzel? Konkrétan a kérdésre: mivel mindenki mindenhol puszilkodik, az első randevún is adhatunk. Milyen témákat kerüljünk kezdetekben? Semmiképp ne azzal kezdjük, hogy van-e friss AIDS-szűrés- eredmény nála. Valami biztonságos közös téma mindig van (időjárás, közlekedés, közös tanulmányok, közös ismerősök stb.). A férﬁaknak mondom: azért a legelső mondatuk, mintegy véletlenül(!) az legyen, hogy „De csinos (vagy)!", és gyorsan mindjárt lehet tovább másról beszélni. Amit kerüljünk beszédtémaként, az a politika, vallás, betegség, szomorú események.

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